This is a text I wrote on early March. I thought I'd post it here now, so you all know why I'm leaving VJing and the Internet. CAUGHT IN THE WEB! The promises of technology are appealing and it is often necessary to go deep within the ?heart? of the Matrix to realize that they are just that ? empty promises, hypnotizing carrots which prevent us to notice the cliffs we are rushing toward. So this is from the center of the global spider web that I have the honor to talk about my adventure with the Internet. Ah Internet! This ?wonderful technology? which allows people from all over the world to connect in a few seconds. Here's something which has gone a long way in the past 10 years. When I was 15, I was the only student in my classroom with my very own ?connection? and I was chatting every evenings with Americans and other virtual beings living in far-away countries. After a few years I got tired of playing intellectual games, especially since everyone else was doing it. I was fed up with these purely superficial relationships, these constant changes of identity, these games of appearance and these cults of the personality ? all the stuff that made the virtual world of ?chats? and ?blogs?. I was looking for something more ?serious?. Thus, at 18 year old, I started making money online! The dotcom economy had not crashed yet and it was relatively easily to earn money with some basic knowledge and creativity. My talents in programming ? 5 years of experience already ? allowed me to automate my ?money factories? and, at 20, I was earning almost as much as my parents. My life, however, was a disaster since I had forgotten myself in my obsession for money. I decided rather precipitedly to abandon everything and start over from scratch. I sold my websites for $12'000 but, because I proceeded too fast, I never saw the money. Never mind! I had all that I needed. The 11 September behind, I wanted to pursue a more ?revolutionary? path. With the money I bought all kind of video hardware and shortly after launched what I considered to be my dream: an online community for live video artists, VJs who ? like me ? projected images in real time on music. It was the first community around this emerging art form, and perhaps even the first website which allowed all its members to publish articles, reviews, news, links, etc. The website met an immediate success, rapidly attracting several thousands of members, and a great vision was slowly forming in front of my eyes: I was going to reconnect people through a platform of knowledge exchange, which would democratize and revolutionize this art form! I was on my little cloud and thought to myself that I had finally found my way to positively help the world. After several months, it became clear that the code behind the website would need to be deeply reworked in order to evolve and, since I was already thinking about founding 5 or 6 similar communities on other topics ? including some more ?revolutionary? ones ? I decided to develop a full and autonomous script for ?community management?. I didn't know at that time that it would take me nearly 2 years to complete this huge project. Fast-forward a few days ago. I finally put the new version of the website online, with several new features, and prepare myself to quit the project since, in the meantime, my interest had shifted to different areas. I await strong effects, because I know that we get back much energy when we ?close cycles?. The same evening energy starts building up so strongly that I catch an headache. I go for a walk in the cold night, and then come back to take a one-hour-long bath. And then it comes: I receive a great slap in the face. Having now enough energy, I see that all my efforts to ?revolutionize? the Internet and TV were vain. I see that I was always under the grip of technology, that it was defining the rules of the game and not me, despite my programming talents. The realization is not easy: they got me. In my illusion, I have fed the Leviathan with my energy and creativity. First of all this ?live video art?: I had stopped this activity for about a year but now the hypocrisy and absurdity is shocking me. I talked of democratization but at least $10'000 of hardware ? computer, camera, mixer, projector, etc. ? were required to really get started. I felt clever chatting about the ?immediatism? of this ?live? medium, but I needed hours to prepare the video samples that were played. I fantasized about ?remixing my TV? ? the ultimate enemy ? but I hypnotized crowds with cold and depersonalized screens, giving them no chance to explore their own inner world while dancing ? colonizing one more virgin space in their intimacy. Such an alienation for the passive ?spectator? and for me, the ?artist? stuck all night long in front of his computer screen! As for this concept of ?online communities?, the idea was always to help people reconnect to each others in ?real life? but, in all objectivity, this didn't happen very often and most of the members were happy enough to spend hours on the discussion forums. We repeated the schemes of the current society where everyone sits safely in front of a screen; even families are split, each member getting his own egoistic pleasure while looking at his or her targeted TV program, chatting with strangers, downloading music or playing at ?life simulations? like the popular ?The Sims?. Based on these observations, we can legitimately ask ourselves: does technology help us reconnect to each others, as human beings, or is it pushing us to plug to its machines, no matter the rational explaination? Observing myself, after all these years, I see that I treat my computer as a semi-god. I am directly attracted to it as soon as I come back home and I feed it with energy for long hours. If I stay for a long time outside, by friends, I feel a need to go back home. I always find an excuse, but it is always related to my favourite drug: the Internet. With enough distance I can see that one cause for this attraction is that, with my computer, I have a certain feeling of power and my ego loves it. I ?master? all the softwares that I need and even some that I don't need. As an experienced programmer, I can even create my own softwares if those existing don't satisfy my ?needs?. And most importantly, thanks to the Internet, I can influence people all over the world, give them my opinion and even earn a ?living? without leaving my home! In short I can do anything, well, anything that a serie of 0's and 1's can do. In our robotized society, this means more and more activities but it is always within a certain frame. It cannot influence what lives outside of the Matrix, what is not mechanized. On the other hand, by making the machine more attractive, by nurturing empty technologist ideals as I did for a long time, we attract more souls in its jaws. We end up killing Life as much within than without. My inner life was decaying indeed; my soul was dying. For years I didn't know how to do with others. I had forgotten how to be. A sense of sickness came to me every time that I needed to leave my safe little world and face creatures of flesh and bones ? which reminded me that, me too, I was made of flesh and bones. I didn't have any manual on how to ?utilize? the other. I only knew how to communicate with machines, following familiar procedures. My dreams of revolution were in fact massive illusions. I wanted to radically change the system but, working within Babylon itself, I had no choice but to follow the rules of the game. Doing this, I emptied myself from my energy and disconnected myself a little bit more from my soul. This gives us a frightening insight of the future prepared for us ? a dark future indeed for those who cherish truth, freedom, beauty and love ? that I share in the hope that you will not need to dive so deep in this alienation before waking up. We do not need technology to reconnect to each others, to find informations or to pass it around. We are already all spiritually connected and all these activities can be done in synchronicity but it requires patience and trust in the universe; we must stop listening to our ego which try to force things on as many people as possible. This is not by hypnotizing crowds that we will wake them up. This is not by attaching people to ?online communities? that we will free them. It is absurd to think that the end justify the means when those very means are radically opposed to the end. What makes us believe such stupidities? Maybe our lack of willingness to see things as they are, our tendency to see them the way our ego would like them to be? The period we live in has much potential for transformations. It is normal that the Leviathan tries to distort this new energy to its own end ? this is part of the game ? but it's up to us to refuse to be manipulated. The greatest service we can do to mankind is to undo all these morbid ideals and to have enough confidence in our inner power to detach from all these technologies. This is the only way that we can reanimate our soul, leave this system of death and participate to the creation of a new world. Once the illusion understood and digested, once we have enough energy to see what is, the hardest part is behind us. We just have to get rid of our remaining illusory beliefs, recapitule our energy still caught in the web, and then act according to this new awareness. Even if we have to abandon years of hard work, it doesn't matter! We must have trust that the essential will stay and that the lessons learnt in pain are forever engraved in our hearts. We thank heaven for these experiences, we have a good cry, and then we start walking with a light heart on this new unexplored road. No copyrights. Feel free to distribute.